H E L L O   B E A U T I F U L S !  

• Traveling while working or I get a chance to travel in the nearby future. Then at that very time, opportunity strikes. There's an audition for a musical - maybe in new york city or a small town. I decide to give it a shot and audition for it. I am not only nervous ; the blood rushes through my veins that I'm literally red, sweaty clammy hands and nausea (panicky but healthy panic). The assistant calls my name so I take a deep breath and walk in the auditorium. I introduce myself, act out a scene and I sing 'Broadway Baby' or 'Being Alive' or just the song from the musical itself. I end my last note with a bang and look at them. The director and music director look at me sternly and say "Thank you for coming, we will let you know". I express my gratitude and leave the place worried but positive. At least I can say I give it a try. 

A few days later, I got a phone call from a private number. It was the assistant from the musical I auditioned for! I got a part! Well, whether if it's a big or small part, the important thing is -  I GOT IT! I call my mum instantly, telling her plans have changed, that I'm extending my stay and putting my job on hold to grab the once in a lifetime opportunity. Being the mother she is, she obviously disagree and after days of arguments and convincing, she finally gives up and realizes she cannot stop me. Why? Because I will always fight for the things that I want and love to do •

  I had this vision of myself while reading Girl Online by Zoella Sugg. 

Have a purpose and strive for that purpose, they said. 
Without a purpose, life has no purpose, they said. 

               This vision of myself, it's not unachievable. It is very much possible with faith and hard work. These kind of visions do not come by easily for me. I seldom have visions of myself but growing up, I always have visions of myself on stage but I tend to just shove it aside. I thought of it but never really gave it a try to audition for musicals because of my anxiety. I always worry what would others think of me. Should it matter? No! I should always try for myself and at least I can say 'I gave my all, but it's okay, better opportunities will come'. Why should I worry about other's opinion of me when I know well, God think highly of me? So, I promise, if not to myself, at least to Him, that I will give my all in whatever I do. Do not ignore your visions. They may seem ridiculously impossible to you but you have them for a reason - you believe in yourself, God believes in you. Deep down inside, that instinct of yours know you can achieve it because it is what you'll do so beautifully. So fight for your dreams. If anyone stands in your way, just politely tell them to sit down and watch you. If it's your parents, patiently and calmly talk to them.

PARENTS  They are very hard to convince because in their eyes you are their precious one. Sometimes they think that we're still young so we are clueless in whatever we do or wish to do. Don't give up no matter what the circumstances. Parents are hard to convince but there's always a way. Patience and determination. Growing up, I've always felt that I'm not good enough for my mum. I always felt that she's embarrassed to have me as a daughter. Like I said earlier, I've always had visions of myself on stage - be it singing or acting. In high school I was struggling to be very active in choir because my mum didn't believe in the arts. The time for practices was inconvenient for me so I had to sit two public buses to go home (&i stayed really far that time) and I did this for a while behind her back. One day, I came home late. She was furious at first when she found out what I have been doing, then she realized that I'm not 4 years old anymore and let me do whatever what I love. 

So you see, whatever your dream/vision is, do not ever ignore it with negative comments. GO FOR IT! Of course there'll be challenges and sometimes the people we love will be the ones in our way but that's because they don't understand how important it is to you. Help them understand and see how much you want it because determination and patience can say a lot about you. Also, there'll always be haters but don't bother about it. Not everyone will like us and I have come into terms with that, and it's okay really. Look on the brighter side! They make you a stronger person, mentally and possibly physically!

P/s : I can proudly say that I had the opportunity to perform at an event held by my classmates last year and it went pretty well! I know I can do better but it was the first time I didn't had a panic attack and even laughed when I did a mistake. So kudos for that!

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