H E L L O B E A U T I F U L S ! ☀ ❤
It's almost one in the morning and here I am trying to keep my promise. Well, at least I'll type half of it first. I'll just talk about my night first. Okay, we reached Esplanade around 4pm and I had four hours to panic so I did. When it was time for our performance, I was ready (or at least that's what I thought). I was fine, everything was fine but then right after the first line..my voice cracked. It was not only 'Oh, it's just a crack. I can fix it.' IT WAS NOT, I THOUGHT I COULD FIX IT. My voice was cracking and trembling the whole way. My hands were shaking, I had cold flushes, my chest tightened, nothing was coming out from my throat and my stomach felt sick. Yes, I had a bloody panic attack on the bloody stage! I've never experienced any panic attacks as horrid as this. This is hard for me to admit honestly but I just want to share this horrifying night(for me) with you guys. YES, I HAVE AN EXTREME HIGH LEVEL OF ANXIETY. NO THIS IS NOT A JOKE OR ANYTHING FUNNY. THIS THING RUINS YOUR LIFE AND SOMETIMES YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. AND WHEN YOU HAVE PANIC ATTACKS IT'S VERY VERY VERY HARD TO CALM YOURSELF.
