TWENTY - TWO

H E L L O   B E A U T I F U L S !  


As I grow up I realized that birthdays are not all that without your loved ones. It doesn't matter if you have tons of birthday wishes on your Facebook because after all, Facebook reminds them of that. I used to care the amount of wishes I would have and see who posted it - very stupid but I was young and you tend to get suck into things like this. Social Hierarchy ; what's the point of being on top when those around you are not genuine? 




As I grew older, I realized phone notifications were less, but wishes were more meaningful. You know, I waited for that one person to send me the usual birthday text last year. I waited and gave him a week, but nothing. I was angry and hurt, because I couldn't believe that he forgot all about it. I refused to text him for months over that because well, I'm petty like that and birthdays mean a lot to me. To me, there's no excuse when it comes to things like that. Yes, he was never there for any birthdays but I have always looked forward to my wish. When he came back in October, I thought I would bring it up but he was in a bad mood so I let it go and just spent time with him instead.  




I was unwell and didn't celebrate this year but I think I was glad that I didn't. It didn't feel like my birthday. I actually forgot. I was expecting a wish from him this year but he was gone before I could even get it. I was looking forward to my annual wish from the very busy man who tried to earn a living and feed his family. To think I would be okay, because he was never there on birthdays, but I was wrong. I regretted not talking to him for months last year just because he forgot my birthday, because now I can't talk to him forever.


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Twenty-Two is a good age. You've finally overcome all that mean thoughts in your head. You stopped beating yourself up for everything. You stop hurting yourself and know how to love yourself. You walk and talk with confidence, instead of carrying that self hatred on your back. You understand the meaning of "Mind Over Matter".  You know that a small circle is better than a big circle. You know who are your true friends and to stay away from those who are not good for you. You learned that even if you're a straightforward person, not everyone will appreciate that. You learned that wherever you go, people will talk - good or bad, you can't control it. 






My blog has been dead for months. I guess I needed my time away. Distracting myself with uni and whatever I could was my main goal. I didn't want to write because whenever I start to write, I write really depressing shit. I hope I'll start to create and write soon because I honestly miss it. 



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