I DID IT

H E L L O B E A U T I F U L S ! ☀ ❤

(Personal Post)

You (lovely reader,you) may be wondering what is this post about so I am sat here with my sore body to tell you about it. Penang Free School held their Cross Country Run 2014 at Youth Park. Every school usually has this as an extra activity for students to gain marks for their respective sports house so one of them will be declare as champions on Sports Day. Anyway, I usually don't get involved in these kind of things. Main reason, self-conscious which leads to anxiety. Second reason, I'm a pessimist. So during my high school years in Convent Green Lane, I usually skip this or walk on my pace.

Well, this year I decided to challenge myself as an act of bravery to stand up for myself and against anxiety. I didn't think I could do it. I thought I'd be walking or would chicken out the very last minute. But then, I reminded myself that Daisy(anxiety) isn't in control anymore. Actually, last night Chums said that she can't go cause of diarrhea and I was scared cause I thought that I couldn't do it without her. After that, I thought NO I HAVE TO DO THIS FOR MY SAKE ALONE OR NOT. So I got my butt up (willingly) and went to Youth Park with Farts at 700am.

They started off with aerobics first as warm ups but most of us didn't follow. We're divided by classes and the girls of Sixth Form is in one class. When they asked us to get ready, I started panicking. Farts told me I can do it so I put on my earphones and when I heard the gun shot I started jogging. Basically the whole time I was jogging and walking. I was shocked at how fast the whole process is. It was obviously hurting my legs but I had to keep going on. I told myself I can push myself hard enough to not slow down but not too hard till I injured myself. So I had all the motivation I needed and also a friend, Debbie, to encourage me by my side.

SO YES PEOPLE, I DID IT. I TOOK FIFTY MINUTES. FAT CAN RUN, YOU CAN RUN!

Honestly, I did not expect anything at all. Funny thing was I gave myself 2 hours. Oh the distance for girls is 6KM while the guys, 7KM. Sadly I couldn't get marks for my team cause I wore the Free's shirt, even with a valid reason I couldn't so. It's fine, rules are rules. Plus, my sport's house teacher said "It's okay that you didn't get the marks. You show people that your weight doesn't stop you from going beyond your limits." Who would thought a fat girl could run. CORRECTION, a fat girl with eating disorder(recovered) and anxiety could have the strength to run?! I was so overwhelmed with joy I almost cried. Such an achievement, still can't believe that I actually did it. My body did what Daisy said I couldn't. I don't care if people mocked me or not at that moment where I ran to the finish line cause it doesn't matter. I tried and that was all I need. Fifty minutes may be long for you fit people but it's an accomplishment for a person like me. Okay, I'm going to share some photos now ::